wendyy[!]

2011-09-17T00:14:00.003+08:00

Fly me there.

2011-09-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

Pent-up emotions, a mix of fear, frustration, anger, sadness.
Negative energy, just pure pessimism, hate and anger.

I've gotten so good at keeping my feelings inside that, now, they don't wanna leave anymore.

2011-08-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

Since we started going out, I've noticed all the little things you do or say that gets to me. And then when I find myself saying the same things to other people, I wonder if it gets to them as well.

Or maybe I'm just over-analyzing everything. As usual.

2011-08-01T23:00:00.000+08:00

I've lost all motivation.

I'm so sick of studying.
There are moments when I just want to end things with you, but at others, I wish that I could hold you forever.

I wish you were here right now. With me.

2011-07-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

Just for once, it would be nice if you could show care and concern in a different manner. Just this once.

Even if it was insincere.

2011-06-11T14:00:00.001+08:00

claustrophobic.

2011-05-23T19:47:00.001+08:00

HI I'M DEPRESSED.

2011-05-14T13:36:00.000+08:00

thought that perhaps, just this once, it would work out.
guess i was wrong huh? it's over even before it started.
oh, and to think that i fell for you so fast, so hard.
all those late night messages, those sweet words, those subtle movements; bullshit, aren't they?
i was just "thinking too much again"
every thing you do now, every word you say, it's just another stab in the heart.
lost the trust in you.
felt so hopeful, but look where it has left me now.

2011-02-09T18:14:00.000+08:00

At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

I hope you realise that the only step left for you is to stop. Because we will never be possible. I just don't know how to tell you; I'm afraid of hurting you, affecting your studies. But aren't the signs clear enough? I'm not replying your messages, I'm not talking to you, in any way. You said you'd give up. Yeah right. You call this giving up? Bullshit much?

2011-01-27T17:57:00.000+08:00

Nothing but sadness, in this engulfing darkness, in this deafening silence.
I'm calling out your name, but you don't hear. Or you choose not to.
I'm reaching out to you, but you shrink away.
And I will never know what I did, to deserve this.

2010-09-07T22:54:00.001+08:00

AWESOME.

2010-05-23T21:09:00.003+08:00

you and me, same place, one year later.

but the situation could not have been any different.

wonder if you realized it, if you remember those times.

2010-05-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

follow your heart, and listen to your gut feeling.

2010-05-17T19:41:00.000+08:00

i was fine till my parents came home.

now i just feel like crying and telling them everything.

but i know i can't, just can't, bring myself to do it.

running away, hiding from my problems, because i just don't have the guts to face them.
fear, can stop the bravest man.

2010-05-11T16:43:00.000+08:00

what i say now won't make any difference anymore.

and i don't know what to say anyway.

never felt so confused before.

2010-05-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

severe moodswings.

5 months, and i'm still waiting.

2010-05-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

severe moodswings.

2010-05-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

gosh, sudden rush of memories and the tears just can't stop falling.

so the worlds collided, and i don't know how to handle what i have now.

2010-05-06T20:55:00.001+08:00

hardcore mugging this weekend..... ):
best of all, i'm coming down with flu.
qinyuan, get well soon!! *less than three* :D

stay strong, esp you two. because things will get better after the worst is over. (:
love you guys, always here.

things aren't the same anymore, i don't know how to treat you like before?

2010-05-05T20:51:00.001+08:00

bad week, and it's getting worse.

it was not meant for you. and neither is this.

2010-05-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

excuses , excuses , and more excuses .
i'm running out of them.

i don't know who you are anymore.
i miss the old you.

no mood to study, i just keep using the computer.

mid years are here, i'm flunking.

i don't know how to face you.

i don't know how to help you.

iwanttoturnbacktime,backto2009,backtobeforealltheseshit.idon'twanttotakeo'sthisyear.

2010-05-01T21:28:00.000+08:00

was a fool to have believed in you, and you, and in everyone else.
and still am.

2010-04-30T17:37:00.003+08:00

可爱; 可怜没人爱

cross country's over, another event gone.

2010-04-27T16:22:00.000+08:00

God, please give me the strength and patience to live through this, and let me do the right thing.

before i do something i regret.

2010-04-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

PINK BRACES :D :D

okay, it's not that shade. whatever.

and you idiot, i updated! hah! and don't emo alr lah! tsk! smack you ah, emo somemore!

exclamation marks all the way. for you idiot, don't say i never update.

2010-04-24T20:37:00.000+08:00

It's finally over.
no more big big events to look forward to..
Thank to everyone for the most wonderful speech day (:
love you seniors, exco, prefects, MESScube, nugou!!, friends, choir
spastic photos on facebook.

so damn confused; effects, or on purpose?

2010-04-19T21:22:00.000+08:00

7-11, it's a store and more! (a store and more a store and more a store and more....)
七-十一，是个店和多!
and did you know, NAPFA 是一个女狗.
hahahahahahahahahah :D

Speech day soon (: Get to see all the seniors again :D

Okay, actually I'm not all that happy. Whatever.

2010-04-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

terrible week.

screwed up spa, chinese test, english oral, amaths test.
so much worries, disappointments, fear, and stress.
cried so many countless times, felt so hopeful only to be disappointed, worried so much for no reason.
thank god it's over. because next week will be worse.

i've failed as a senior.
even warm ups cannot be done properly, basic posture all wrong.
it's useless to scold them already, i'm stepping down next week.
what can i do, in 1 session, when they just simply refuse to listen?
SYF next year, what will happen?
so disappointed in them, in myself.

o levels this year, yet i don't have the motivation to work hard.

perservere ):

2010-04-11T16:11:00.001+08:00

2010-04-11T13:31:00.000+08:00

i was never falling for him.
i was falling for someone else, but it would only have made things more complicated, that's why i never said it out. i was never falling for him.
please don't be like this. i don't think anything i say will make any difference, but please just stop emoing and be more positive k? i don't think you would talk to me, but i'll always be here.

2010-04-10T22:37:00.001+08:00

i guess i should not be worried since you're not even bothered by it; or at least you don't seem bothered by it.
god, i don't know what's up with me now. help me ):

1 more week, and then 1 more month. 1 freaking long month.

f.

2010-04-09T20:40:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to say either.

it's only april.
i have lost 2 friends, been missing my seniors, been a terrible senior myself, not performing up to standard, flunking tests, not concentrating, felt jealous, quarreled with friends, had super high moments and super low moments but nothing in between, ignored someone so much it's difficult to face him now, cried so much, felt so stressed, looked forward only to be disappointed, felt so angry, felt so disappointed, had 101 mood swings, and basically regretted 100000000001 things i have done, but there's no way to turn the clock back. and there's no way i can put things right anymore.
it's only april.

2010-04-08T20:51:00.000+08:00

i don't wanna go to school ):

2010-04-08T20:31:00.000+08:00

i'm so afraid.
for you, for me, for everyone, for everything.

2010-04-06T21:22:00.000+08:00

just fucking leave me alone. stop fucking relying on me. i cannot take anymore of this, stop relying on me. i'm stressed out enough as it is.

2010-04-06T21:12:00.000+08:00

wtf.
what the hell am i going to do?
i need someone who will be willing to listen, when i'm ready to say everything out.
mental breakdown.

2010-04-05T21:13:00.000+08:00

absolutely no mood to concentrate on anything D:
idiot! all your fault lah. tsk!

i'm going crazyy, with all this madness, this stress and problems.

2010-04-04T01:31:00.001+08:00

mental breakdown.

2010-04-04T01:12:00.000+08:00

there's one more person you have been ignoring, and he's angry with you now.
we both don't know how to face you anymore, when you don't even want to talk to us.
i just really don't know how.you said won't let it happen again, so why is this still happening?
whatever. don't want to care anymore.

midyears coming. gg alr. how?

2010-04-03T01:29:00.001+08:00

"tell you for?"

i don't know if i should just treat you like normal, or to ignore you, or to just let everything fade away slowly.

i worry for you each day; what if there is really something wrong?

its sad that i have to find out from other people about how you're feeling, when i thought i could be there for you as a friend.

i guess i was wrong all along.
and i wanted you to give up, because i don't want to hurt you again and again.

2010-04-02T12:03:00.000+08:00

mozilla's fine alr!! :D :D

April fool kind of sucked. only one person fell for it. [hahahahahah you dumb! :D but don't worry, it won't happen (: ]

history's repeating itself; the same problems are happening again.

you have to consider your own feelings too.

but i guess it's better, to let things fade away.

you'll have to let go, then.

2010-03-31T21:56:00.000+08:00

moodswings again.
*ignores* :D
and i want to highlight my hair and go shopping for heels and clothes and watch movies and spend time with friends and buy more accessories and work part time and and and and and

idk.
talk or just continue like that?
awkward, and saddening.
so what now?

The moon's so bright.

2010-03-29T21:24:00.002+08:00

procrastinating.
and my firefox's not workingggggg D:
back to ss.

Here We Go Again.

2010-03-25T21:22:00.001+08:00

):
omg. again?

I don't feel so alone.

2010-03-22T21:08:00.000+08:00

LIME GREEN BRACES :D :D
omg, <3 ttm.
but it's super hard to talk and smile. and it's damn uncomfortable. ):
ohh well.

i still love my braces :D
it's lime green, you know.
hahah :D

let's just fall in love again.

2010-03-21T21:48:00.000+08:00

omg omg omg omg braces tomorrow :D :D :D
then back to school ): ): ):
it's term 2 already. wow.

imy

curious and curiouser

2010-03-16T22:43:00.000+08:00

dental, alice in wonderland (:
braces next monday.....

shopping [!] soon i hope?
omg, shopaholic man ~

SPA is bound to fail.
vanessa, how ?
pain is good for you :D

been feeling down these days.
am i just being over sensitive?

2010-03-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

never felt so messed up.

oh well, 9 more months, perservere !

2010-03-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

hectic week.
so many problems, and tests, and homework.
oh well, at least it's all over.
but must really thank boyfriend for being there for me (:
love you to the max! :D

and happy (advanced) 16th to sufang!
4 years of friendship, thank you!
messcube outing after o's k?
hope you'll be happy on this day, love you!

2010-03-06T13:41:00.002+08:00

10 months
wow.

2010-03-03T22:47:00.002+08:00

friendships lost.
do you care?

2010-03-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

not even one last consideration?
i don't want to let go.

2010-03-03T21:42:00.001+08:00

i'm crying because you're quitting.

but it doesn't even concern me,
and i have no idea why am i crying.

2010-03-02T21:46:00.000+08:00

omg, super worried for nothing.
still super scared though.
totally no difference, we're still back to square one.

2010-02-24T22:14:00.003+08:00

feeling so damn guilty ):
oh well...

quarreled again, like what the hell.

can't you just listen to what i have to say, like for once?

just for once stop thinking that you're always right, and that i'm telling the truth?

why can't you just believe me for once?

must you always assume that you're correct, just because you're angry with me?

omg, pissed

icried

2010-02-18T20:24:00.000+08:00

Failed in all aspects.

2010-02-17T23:06:00.004+08:00

2 months more .

do you remember ?

2010-02-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

hello hello (:

happy new year & Valentine's day :D

super sad they clashed this year . ):
oh wells .

new year so far is rather quiet .
maybe expected a little too much ?
had fun though .

disappointed , but still waiting .
oh well .

Happy New Year and Valentine's Day :D

2010-02-12T21:39:00.001+08:00

ohhemmgees , emo ttm ):

2010-02-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

emo ttm ):

didn't see mr lim (omg, super miss him lah ! ): )
and many other things happen .
no mood for anything .
so damn tired .

2010-02-10T21:21:00.000+08:00

if that's how you are going to be ,

then don't expect me to be any different .

2010-02-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

i work so much better at night .
or early in the morning .
whatever .

i'm wide awake !
and no more study date tomorrow somemore ):
why you so busy ?! hahah

so much homework D:

2010-02-02T21:43:00.000+08:00

ohhemmgees, emo ttm alr ):
i really dunno what to do .
and idk how to start telling too .
how how ?
and like so many people know too .
shit .
help , i need a super long talk with someone .
~~oh , and i still miss you .~~

2010-01-30T15:17:00.000+08:00

screwed up interview yesterday .
oh well .
results are out anyway .

dinner with boyfriend, boyfriend's boyfriend, boyfriend's boyfriend's friend, lamda, jojo and sam sam last night. hahah go guess who.
public nuisance everywhere .
and boyfriend is hostage :D
had lots of fun .
but still no chance to talk to boyfriend ! ):

and cheryl, go get well soon lah . (:

你对我这么好，可是我无法对你一样好。

I'm sorry

2010-01-24T18:50:00.000+08:00

I'm not done with chinese , and nyaa, all due tomorrow .
There's camp tomorrow .

someone please kill me .

2010-01-24T02:06:00.000+08:00

It's 2:00 in the morning on a Sunday .
And I'm doing my maths while surfing youtube 'cuz i can't sleep .
There's camp tomorrow , for the next three days and I ain't looking forward .

I need to let everything out , but I don't know who to turn to .

The people involved are also those who I confide in .

I'm angry , I'm sad , I'm disgusted and I'm disappointed . Very .

2010-01-18T18:28:00.001+08:00

that's it , no more .

2010-01-17T13:01:00.002+08:00

i don't wanna go ,

so why are you forcing me ?

2010-01-13T21:35:00.000+08:00

orientation's over ):
super miss ):

family's been having problems too..

tired ):

i don't want to be a sec 4 , so bloody old .
my god .

~~and i'm still hoping , still waiting .~~

~~still missing .~~

2010-01-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

i just realised today that it's not because my friends don't care ,
it's because i don't tell them .
because i just don't know how to start .

thank you x1000000 for the stickers ! and the wallet ! :D
super love you guys (:

2010-01-05T22:58:00.024+08:00

ohhemmgees , emo alr lah ):
super sad and super happy .
sad over ____ and happy over the stickers and the wallet ! .
sad over the orientation and happy over the orientation .
sad over everything sad and happy over everything happy .
and blogger has some freaking problem , that makes my post looks all ... ugly .

sad because i miss you , happy because i saw you .
sad because i'm not over you , happy because it's over .
sad because it's over , happy because i've finally let go .
sad because i can't let go despite everything , happy because we've finally stopped .
sad because we've finally stopped , it's really over this time .

2010-01-01T13:41:00.002+08:00

the first tears of 2010 , for you .

will you ever change ?

because despite everything , i let myself get disappointed once again .

despite all those pormises .

first post of 2010 :D
alvin and theodore and simon yesterday (:
theodore is super cute and adorable :D :D
too guilty to enjoy the ending though . hahah :/

dalvin's birthday bash yesterday too .
ended up with cream in my hair . ):

multi tasking once again .
and my room is damn warm ):

first post of 2010 ,
109th post

2009-12-31T21:46:00.005+08:00

hello hello :D

2010 in 2hours and 27 minutes .

2009 has been a goodbad year . whatever lah , hahah .

boyfriend really rocks :D can 忍 all my moodswings and crazyness and emoness :D thank you thank you for being with me this entire year :D next year will be better :D

and qinyuan too ! can 忍 all my moodswings in class too :D sorry , i know i moodswing very badly . sorry ! thank you for being my desk buddy , next year must work hard together alr (:

and and cheryl yeo ! hahah glad you're okay ? wish you a better 2010 :D

and and and huiling ! hahah , always come back family three , then dance :D must come back more often okay ? and must find one day , go down and visit you at paragon :D

and and and and wanling ! you this duidui :D hahah stay happy okay ? happy 2010 to you :D

~~and and and and abd you . hope you can change , that's all . 2009 ends , and so do we . i'm no longer going to hope , because i'll only be disappointed .~~

actually still got a lot more people , but they like won't read so 算了 . hahah

2 hours and 14 more minutes to 2010 :D

2009-12-29T22:29:00.001+08:00

time to just let go , give up and walk away .

time to treat all this as a nightmare , to be forgotten .

只不过是我办不到 .

2009-12-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

SHINeeY
:D

2009-12-25T18:05:00.003+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS :D

wish you were here .

2009-12-23T23:37:00.001+08:00

prefect camp was crazy , lots of sugar rush (:
thank you xuemei , huiling , cheryl , prefects , dihang , jason :D

15 in 26mins :D

AND XUEMEI , DON'T BE SAD!! (:

2009-12-19T00:01:00.000+08:00

i lost my badge ):
the super cute yellow one from sarawak , the smiley face , the badge on my bag , the one which costs one ringgit .
):
*emo*

prefect camp next week , omg emo ):

):

my badge D:
):

hahah so many "):"

2009-12-16T23:33:00.000+08:00

~~failure to commit ?~~

xuemei , i got like lots of things to tell you .
but as usual , when finally find the time , i prolly forgot alr ):
how how ?
and don't ahbish lah ):
we need go study too !

afraid to commit , unwilling ?

or just simply , unsure of own feelings ?

2009-12-14T23:44:00.002+08:00

omg, i need to go out and study badly .
3 more weeks ):
homework not done ,
christmas shopping not done either ):
gg lah ~

2009-12-11T20:59:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

painted banner today , and got paint all over ):
muscle aches too , tired !
and been controlling my mood too (:
so much can happen in just two days .

):

2009-12-05T01:08:00.003+08:00

HELLO!! :D

dodo has flown back from JAPAN :D
hahah, suprisingly, dodo can fly.
now time to spam outings :D

2009-12-03T23:28:00.000+08:00

OMG , cmi tomorrow ):

2009-12-03T22:33:00.001+08:00

heheh , dodo flying back tomorrow :D

and congratulations to qinyuan , distinction :D

2009-12-02T23:30:00.001+08:00

those three words ,

you're saying them without meaning .

i don't believe you ,

because actions speak louder than words .

2009-12-02T12:33:00.002+08:00

HELLO :D

missing boyfriend much ):

dumb facebook is so damn slow .
and i'm very hungry.
ok i'm going to eat now.

2009-11-27T15:35:00.003+08:00

HELLO!!

back in singapore alr :D
lazy update too much about sarawak.

DAMN FUN :D

except that i lost my money (&*^*&#$$) and that i got sunburnt (slightly) and my throat hurts .

i want kayak again :D
hahah
overall enjoyed lah , except for losing my money , otherwise i would have bought so many more things )):

boyfriend is leaving tomorrow , so is mayi , and dihang . dui left alr . i want go out !
but next week a lot of things to do . ):
will miss boyfriend ):
i want presents ! hahah :D
and now i got no one to crap to at night , cuz everyone is like overseas ? ):

lazy update much .
hahah .

2009-11-23T08:50:00.001+08:00

HELLO!!

blogging from the airport :D
damn highh now~

2009-11-22T21:34:00.001+08:00

i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .
i'm ~~not~~ looking forward .

i'm not convinced .
):

2009-11-20T22:38:00.002+08:00

date with crazy ; dodo ; boyfriend :D
and i became wanling ......

packing for SARAWAK tomorrow night alr ):
ohhemmgee, so fast lahh ):
then dodo leaving for JAPAN
):

every week in december , i'm going out at least once .
and i haven't started on my homework . hahah

i want shopping spree , after japan trip !
need do christmas shopping ,
badly !

i'd be a fool to believe you again .

2009-11-19T18:14:00.000+08:00

my voiceeeee ):

2009-11-19T15:18:00.008+08:00

back from camp ,
and
sore throat , severe muscle aches , and damn tired .

going sarawak next week :D
looking forward , yet ..
then there's japan trip the following week .
i want to go out with boyf ! shopping spree how ? ):

november was busy ,
december's worse ):

don't say it unless you mean it ,

because 7 months ago ,

you said those three words ,

but you ended up falling for someone else ,

and i ended up hurt .

it won't happen again .

2009-11-12T18:18:00.002+08:00

accumulated situations . results in one huge disaster . but i was never one to force you to say things if you never wanted to . it's not that i don't care . but you chose not to say it to me , but to them . this feeling of being forgotten , left out in th dark .

last day of bridging tomorrow .
ends off with 3 hours of biology , killer .
i want my holidays ):
sarawak in two weeks .
i don't know to look forward , or to regret choosing .

2009-11-09T22:45:00.002+08:00

HELLO :D

date with boyf. today :D
supposed to watch my sister's keeper , but no fate lah ):
end up walking around ,
and someone ended up not buying anything .
hahah .

christmas shopping early this year , maybe ?
but no matter , i'll definitely get that bsb cd next week !
:D

rejected once , the answer's still the same .

sorry .

but i'll never forget .

so let's just move on , both of us .

2009-11-08T23:05:00.001+08:00

you can't expect me to forget everything .
stop making me remember .
what you did is bad enough , i don't need reminders .
get out , and let me move on .

2009-11-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAN WANLING :D

dododededuidui (L)

2009-11-07T19:55:00.002+08:00

the silent tears ,
and cycles , that never end .
3 weeks , one week ; break patch ; left out and included .
or maybe i'm just tired .
god , i feel like crying so badly .

i need the playground so badly now .
and i want the privacy too .
too bad i won't get both .
fcuk .

2009-11-04T20:41:00.002+08:00

if a god exists , then please don't let anything happen to him .

don't let this be his last christmas , his last few months .

please .

this holiday is so screwed .
bridging , AEM , overseas trip , so damn much stuffs .
so tired , and then there's this kind of crap happening .
wtf..?

2009-11-03T22:00:00.004+08:00

but how can you bear to let him die ,

knowing that he can live longer ,

knowing that you had a part to play in his death ?

everyone is given a chance on this earth ,

why take away his , when there's nothing he can do to defend himself ?

and its his life in the first place , not yours .

many things happening , end of this year , after christmas .

how am i supposed to enjoy this holiday now ?

2009-10-30T21:22:00.003+08:00

why the sudden change of hearts ?
you said , and now your actions contradict .
?

netball today , long time never play alr !
hahah , had fun (:

watched love happens with boyfriend today
first movie date with boyfriend and she was sleeping -.-
hahah , slacked around , home .

tomorrow there's AEM .
super tired ):

4 more episodes , and i can watch other shows alr (:
heheh

why do i have this feeling ... ?